Everyone wants to know how to find a relationship. A happy relationship is not always easy to come by, but love is worth the effort. Before we go through some of the ways to find a relationship, I want to share with you a love quote:

“Relationships–of all kinds–are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.”

- Kaleel Jamison

 

How to find a relationship:

1. Decide what you want in a relationship. Do you want someone sporty? Someone who likes the same movies as you? Someone who is vegan? Are you looking for a soul mate, or just someone to hang out with? Someone who plays the guitar and can join your band? Deciding what you want in a relationship is the first step towards getting it. If you aren’t sure what you want from a relationship, then sometimes it’s hard to tell when you’ve found it. You might even find out that your friend from Pilates is the perfect person to build a relationship with.

2. Be confident. Confidence is a very attractive trait in both guys and girls. At a party if there is one girl telling jokes, and another girl sitting in the corner by themselves, then most of the attention will naturally go towards the first girl. There is nothing right or wrong about it, it is just how the world is. Don’t step over the line from “confident” to “arrogant” though. That’s never attractive. .

3. Set aside time to meet people. If you want to get a relationship, then you have to actively go out there and seek one. If you spend every day at work and every night at home watching TV, then it’s going to be almost impossible for you to meet the man or woman of your dreams. You have to get out of the house to meet people. That’s the only way it can be done. Go to parties. Join a rock-climbing group. Travel to other countries. Go see a play with some friends. Join a book club. The actual activity doesn’t really matter, as long as you get to meet new people though it. 

4. Relax. Nothing wrecks your chances with a new person more than when you seem desperate for attention. Take it easy, and don’t make a big deal out of this whole “love” thing. You know that it’s going to happen. All you have to do is get out there, make sure that you are looking for it, and then trust that you will find it. You are definitely going to get the relationship you want, as long as keep trying. So there is no need to worry.

5. Be lovable. If you want somebody to love you, then you have to be the type of person that someone could love. Are you fun to be with? Are you caring? Are you honest? Are you the sort of person that you would want your brother or sister to date? Do you treat people with respect, and do you have respect for yourself as well? If your answer to these questions is anything but “yes”, then maybe you should work out why, and find a way to change the things about yourself that you don’t respect. For someone to love and respect you, you must first be able to love and respect yourself. Make sure that you do.

6. Don’t give up! This is the hardest step of all. Sometimes we all feel that we won’t find a wholesome and caring relationship. We have all thought, “Well, maybe what I want isn’t even out there, and I’m just going to end up alone anyway”. Push those thoughts away! You are a lovable person, who deserves to be loved, and you are definitely going to find a relationship that suits you. Just don’t give up, and you will find exactly what you are looking for.