How to get your ex-girlfriend back is always a hard question to ask. You used to be with the most amazing and wonderful girl in the world, and now it’s all over. It is never an easy thing getting back together with an ex-girlfriend. It involves patience, and you will need to keep a cool head. Sending her a dozen roses every day, and following her car around town just isn’t going to make her love you again.

Here are some ways that you can work on getting your ex-girlfriend back:

Give her space. The worst thing you can do is to start trying to spend all your time with the girl you just broke up with, or who just broke up with you. Break ups are traumatic, and you should always give your girlfriend time to get over the painful side of the break up, otherwise there is no chance that the two of you will ever get back together.

Be sure that you want her back. It could be that you are just remembering the fond times and forgetting all the annoying and painful ones. Often we remember an ex-girlfriend as being loving and happy, but in reality, all you did was argue with each other. Be certain that the relationship you had in the past is what you want to have in the future.

Why did you break up? Was there a specific issue that caused it? Was everything good, except you always argued because you wanted to go out with your friends every Saturday? Was the relationship strong, except that you had to move away for work? If you can find out the exact cause of the break up, then fixing the issue might help you get back together again.

Attract her again. She was attracted to you once before right? So she might be attracted to you again. Whatever you did to get her interest the first time around is what you should do the second time. Were you always nice, considerate, and funny? Be those things again. Did she like your fashion sense before? Dress that way again. What ever helped you two get together the first time, is a good place to start this time around.

Don’t rush. Break ups can be very difficult, and undoing a break up even more difficult. Don’t rush things by trying to get back together immediately. It is a slow process rebuilding a relationship with an ex-girlfriend. You have to be willing to let everything take some time.

Communicate. Communication is the most important part of any relationship, and when you are trying to get a relationship going again with your ex-girlfriend, then communication is what you are going to have to concentrate on. Start with something simple, relaxed, and non-committal. An email just saying, “Hi there, just wanted to say hey. Hope things are going well with you” might be the right way to start communicating again.

Show regret. Once you are talking again, you can mention that you regret things didn’t work out between the two of you. See what her response is. If it’s something like “Yeah, I thought that we were perfect for each other”, then you can try and talk more on the subject. If she says, “Oh well, no big deal”, then she probably isn’t ready to discuss it just yet. Be patient..

Try for casual meetings. After your are talking again, try and find some simple way for the two of you to meet up. Perhaps mention that you are going to see a movie on Friday with some friends, and ask if she would like to come check it out as well? Maybe there is a band playing that you both happen to be fans of, and the two of you could go see them together? Any situation that isn’t strictly “romantic” is what you need. It’s too soon to be aiming for romantic dinners, but getting together again as “friends” is a good strategy.

Only once you have gone through all of the steps above can you start working on rebuilding an actual dating relationship. Be patient. Remember: if the two of you really are good for each other, then you will end up back together.