How to know love is a question that has been asked by everyone at one time or another. Love is a wonderful thing, but sometimes it is difficult to tell if the feelings you have are real. Physical attraction can feel like love, and someone in love may worry that it is just physical attraction. Do you really feel the way you do, or are you just being swept up in the romance? Luckily there are a few ways to know if it is real love however. Before we go into them, here is a love quote:

“In real love you want the other person’s good. In romantic love you want the other person”

- Margaret Anderson

 

1. Decide what love means to you. Deciding what you are looking for is a very important step towards finding it. If you don’t know what you want from love, then sometimes it’s hard to tell when you’ve found it. Do you want someone caring? Someone passionate? Someone supportive? Do you want a friend and confidant? Someone who you can laugh with? Someone who likes the same movies as you? Someone vegan? Someone who plays the guitar and can join your band? Write down all your thoughts and feelings about what a love means for you.

2. Can you communicate with each other? In love, communication plays the most important role. If you can talk openly and honestly, then love will be sure to thrive. The person you love should be able to hear and understand what you are thinking, and visa-versa. You should want to share your thoughts with your partner. As long as you can both talk and listen, then no relationship issue will be insurmountable. 

3. Do they add to your life? True love will enhance your life, and the life of your loved one. If you find your life is easier, more joyous, and more satisfying with this person, then it might well be love. If you find however that your life is harder, less happy, and more traumatic with this person, then it might be lust or some other type of attraction, but it almost certainly isn’t love. True love should make your world brighter, not darker.

4. Do you accept them for who they are? Sometimes it can be tempting to see only the good sides of someone. You might think, “Well he is really handsome, and he is lots of fun on dates”, but unless you are willing to see and accept his failings as well as his attributes, then it probably isn’t love. See your lover in their entirety, foibles and all, and if you still feel the same way, then that’s a very good indication of love.

5. Do they accept you for who you are? The same applies in reverse; do they accept you for who you are? Love can only exist where both people know and understand each other fully, and accept each other’s weaknesses as well as their strengths. It is impossible to love someone, and simultaneously want them to change who they are.

6. Is their happiness important to you? If you love them you will care for them at least as much as you care about yourself. When they are happy, does it make you happy? When they are feeling a bit down, do you want to do all you can to help? Or do you just leave them alone until they feel better? The same applies in reverse of course; if they make your happiness their priority, then it could very well be love. If you only seem to get along when things are easy however, and have nothing to do with each other when things are difficult, then it probably isn’t love.

It isn’t always easy to tell if your love is real, but hopefully this list will help. Love is a wonderful and exhilarating emotion, and it is definitely worth searching for. You might also want to find out What Love Is.